Month in Review: February 2013

 A note to readers: the weekly reviews that I started posting in January were probably the most polarizing things I’ve written. Some of you loved them, some of you preferred the traditional narrative. In order to have fun with the format but not overdo it, I’ve decided to continue it as a monthly.


American banks announced that 2012 was their second most profitable year ever. The Eurozone slid further into recession. Apple was denied the right the sell anything called “iPhone” in Brazil because a local company was already given the right to do so in 2008. Hillary Clinton stepped down as John Kerry became the new US Secretary of State. The Pope resigned.

A radical leftist group in Turkey bombed the US Embassy in Ankara resulting in the death of the bomber and a guard. A radical leftist group in Turkey apologized for injuring a journalist during its bombing of the US Embassy in Ankara.

At least two dozen people were killed when a truck carrying fireworks exploded on an elevated highway in China. Dozens of people died in a stampede at a railway station near the site of the Kumbh Mela, the largest religious gathering in the world. The Government of India secretly executed a man. The rest of the world continued to be fascinated by the weather in New York City.

A meteor exploded in the atmosphere above the Russian town of Chelyabinsk. The rest of the world discovered why so many Russians have dashboard cameras in their cars. Millionaire Dennis Tito is looking for a married couple to train as astronauts in order to study sex in space. A home in Texas was invaded by tumbleweeds.

The Government of Iran was caught using Photoshop to fabricate images of military equipment (again). The Government of North Korea was caught using clips from a videogame to show how the American “nest of wickedness is ablaze with the fire started by itself.” A man in Indiana was arrested for trying to order a cheeseburger by calling 911 nine times.

The International Olympic Committee dropped wrestling from the 2020 Summer Olympics. South African amputee Olympian Oscar Pistorius was charged with murdering his girlfriend. Mr. Cyriac discovered that in some places, they play ice hockey with a ball instead of a puck and call it bandy. Russia defeated Sweden 4-3 in the 2013 Bandy World Championship.

Curtis Cooper, of the University of Central Missouri, discovered a 17.4 million-digit prime number.  A fifth grader in Virginia is facing expulsion for bringing marijuana to school so that he could stop his father from smoking. Scientists discovered tadpoles with eyes on their tails.


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